Look at this e-mail I got!

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From: Ken!!!
Subject: 100% LEGAL BUSINESS

I HAVE A MUTUAL BENEFIT FOR YOU WORTH ABOUT 12.5 MILLION POUNDS.IF YOU ARE INTERESTED AND FOR FURTHER DETAILS CONTACT ME VIA EMAIL : *

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* E-mail address deleted to respect Ken’s privacy(!!!).

I feel like I’ve won the lottery! I’ll have to be careful with this windfall, lest I squander and/or mishandle it.

Right up front, he identifies this opportunity as completely above-board. Thanks, Ken, for easing my fears. Upon seeing the subject heading, I read on with peace of mind, knowing that this is a missive I can trust.

Using the advanced mathematical technique known as “ballparking,” I figure that 12.5 million pounds (if Ken is indeed talking about currency and not weight) is somewhere around 2.5 billion cents. What to do? What to do?

I could fulfill my dream of retiring to Europe to be a cheesemonger. Or perhaps I could use it to do good, such as adopting a starving child abroad, building a school, or bailing out a financial institution. I could hang onto it for Halloween, when I could give a penny to 2.5 billion trick-or-treaters! I’ll be a regular Santa Claus!

Whilst I ponder how to navigate these difficult financial and ethical waters, I leave you with this to entertain yourselves.

You’re welcome.